Without Shame
by justalittleunwell
Summary: Seans out of Jail, and back at Degrassi. Emma thinks everythings fine, and Sean's running a whole other life that Emma Doesn't know about, What will happen when it all Collides, who will Sean Choose? SeanEmma SeanOC Please R&R thankies
1. I'm Driven By Something I cant Explain

1

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the original characters in the show. But I do however own any original characters in this story, and this plot line.

Joey walked slowly inside the front doors of Degrassi, her eyes gazing around, as her feet dragged behind her mind. She felt as if she where a duck out of water, so out of place. She shook her head a bit, regaining as much composure as she could. She lifted her messenger bags shoulder strap a bit and adjusted it's position on her shoulder before brushing her dark auburn colored hair that went down below her waist behind her ear. Its curly but neat appearance giving her some kind of comfort.

She looked around a bit confused, seeing a sign that pointed towards the front office, she let out a gentle sigh of relief. Alas, something was simple about all of this. She had a comfortable life in Wasaga Beach, maybe it wasn't the most luxurious one, but it was comfortable. She had a house. Not an apartment, but a house. She had room mates, and everything was going great for her. But no; everything just had to mess up when she let her heart get too involved again.

She pulled herself from her thoughts as she pushed open the door to the main office, walking to a desk. She smiled as she walked up to the desk, trying to greet the staff as she met them, as nicely as possible. Staying on the good side, as long as could be managed. This was important to her, the last thing she could deal with right now. Was trouble.

"Good Morning Young Lady" the receptionist said gently, "You must be the new transfer." she had the most fake smile Joey had ever seen anyone come up with on her face, and she couldn't help but to feel her stomach turn a tiny bit from it.

"Yes ma'am." she said answered sweetly. Smiling and making her sincerity believable. "Well Ms. H has requested to talk to you before you get to class so if you would just have a seat right there in those chairs, and I'll let her know you're here." she said as she placed her hand on the receiver of the telephone on her desk and picked it up. Dialing an extension, as she waited to see Joey go sit down.

Joey just turned, swinging her hair a bit, unintentionally, and sat down in one of the chairs. Picking a piece of lint off the grey cotton track pants she was wearing. Along with a white baby tee with 'cute & cuddley' written in the trade mark letters of the pound puppies toys, with a picture of the pound puppies underneath it. She hadn't had time to change before school this morning. And lucky for her, her pajama's where somewhat fashionable.

"Joey!" she looked up to the sound of an unfamiliar voice calling her name. Seeing a tall slender blonde headed woman standing at the doorway of the office, marked principal. She made a fair guess at who she was dealing with. She stood and walked towards her, extending her hand, as the woman extended hers. "I'm Ms. H, I'll be your principal here at Degrassi." she said with a cheesy smile, as if it where the best thing in the world to be principal of a highschool.

Joey just grinned. "Joey Deese." she said with a sigh as she followed the woman into her office after their hand shake. She spotted the first chair on the side of the desk she knew she belonged on, sitting down she made herself comfortable, and watched as the woman found somewhere to sit. Deciding to sit beside Joey instead of across from her like she expected.

"Now Joey," Ms. H started out. Which made Joey hold back and small sigh of annoyance already. "I know that you decided after your...incident, to drop out of school. And I know what the City has given you as your requirements to get their financial help." She straightened up in her chair a bit as she looked at Joey. "But while you're a student here. You're to respect and work to achieve your education." she stated this with a tone that only made Joey want to walk out of the office, go home, get her things, and go right back to Wasaga Beach. "There will be no slacking just because you don't absolutely have to be here."

Joey Just nodded her head in understanding. She looked at the time that the clock on the wall stated. It was nearing 8 am. She knew school would be started soon. "Don't I need to be getting to class and all?" She asked, clearly hinting that she wanted out of that office. Ms. H looked at the clock before back at Joey and nodded. "I suppose you do need to get going." She walked to the door before opening it for Joey. "If you need anything, just come and find me." she said now replacing the cheesy smile on her face.

Joey just nodded and walked out of the office. She pulled the paper from her bag as she exited into the main hallway. Searching her eyes around the area, she looked at the drawn out map that was on the other paper they had given her. She let out a sigh before headed off in her assigned direction. First stop, Mr. Armstrong's Tech Math 2 Honors. How fun.

Sean walked hurriedly down the halls, pulling Emma with his free hand behind him, as his other hand clutched his books plus a folder holding a document that meant everything in the world to him at the time being and he wasn't about to let that go anywhere. "Hurry we're going to be late." he said with a laugh as he stopped in front of Mrs. Kwans'z twelfth grade English class.

He gave Emma a quick hug and Kiss. "I'll see you tonight, at eight. You're riding home with Snake right?" Sean asked running his words together completely. Emma looked at him a little shocked. "I can, but why can't you take me home?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. Trying not to get suspicious but not being able to help it. "I've just got stuff to alright?" he said grabbing her hands gently but carefully, making sure he didn't let that folder slip away. "Trust me Emma." he said with a smile. Emma just nodded as they heard the first bell of the day ring. Emma gave him a final hug before walking into her class. Sean turned and walked a little more then casually towards Mr. Armstrong's class.

He walked in and spotted Joey at the back of the room, she had actually came! Everything he had been working for since getting out of jail all was finally piecing everything together, It was all working out for him. He had something to work for. He walked through the room taking a seat near Joey turning to talk to her. She just smiled at him with her usual childish smile. She pulled her hair up off her shoulders with her hands as she waited to see the teacher walk into the class.

Sean just smiled and shook his head a bit. Her being there, it was the sign that everything that was wrong in his life was about to change. He turned back around in his seat. Moving his math book off of the manila folder that held the document he had waited 3 years for. He opened the folder and read the words printed in old English print: Declaration Of Joint Custody. He smiled at words, Joint Custody.

Hearing the second the bell, he said Mr. Armstrong come through the door. He quickly closed the folder, and then moved his math book back on top. Throwing another glance at Joey, the turning his eyes back to the front of the room. For the first time in a long time, his middle name proving to be true, he had hope.


	2. It's Not A Cross It Is A Choice

As the final bell of the day rang, Sean could feel knots forming in his stomache as he pulled himself up and out of his seat in Mr. Simpsons class. He wasn't as sure of himself about everything, as he had been before. He let out a sigh before shaking his head a bit and grabbing up his books. He walked out of the class ignoring the call from Mr. Simpson.

He turned the corner of the hallway, seeing his locker. He spead his pace a bit, clutching his books a little looser in is grip. He needed to get going he knew that. He brushed a few strands of hair from his face and then opened the locker as he approached it. Swinging the door to it open, he almost missed the note that was hanging out of the door of it. He tossed his books in and snatched at the letter. Feeling ihe paper land between his middle and pointer finger. He closed them and snatched it from the door.

He opened the not reading it quickly, mumbling to himself as he did. McDonalds, he was to meet them at McDonalds. And not the one near this side of town either, but the one across town. He had said he didn't want anyone to know yet. Not till they had gotten everything situated. But McDonalds was a good ways away. He shoved the note in his pocket, hearing the sound of heals clacking against the ground behind him, knowing it was Emma.

"whats that?" god she had seen him. He turned around keeping his hand in the pocket he had shoved the note in securely. She couldn't find out. "It's nothing." He said with a convincing smile. He leaned foward and kissed her passionately, but made it as quick as he possibly could. "But I've got to get going, I've got stuff to do." he gave her an 'I'm sorry' smile, kissing her nose and then turning heading off down the hallway. "Eight o'clock!" Emma yelled after him. Sean just nodded, "Eight O'clock infront of the cinema."

He heard her sigh, he ignored it as he walked out of the school. Pushing the swinging glass door out infront of him. He looked around, spotting his car infront of the school, she sighed and walk towards it. He walked 0122

\00000000000around to the drivers side. He had to go home and change clothes before he went anywhere. Plus, he had to gain back some of his ne1

rve. Just a tiny bit!

He kept driving till he saw the turn off for his road, He looked down at himself. He didn't look that bad. And she had already seen him once today, he didn't want to seem as if he was trying to impress anyone. He kept driving straight, instead of turnling off. He was sure he had a clean shirt somewhere in the car that he could use. He removed one hand from the wheel to cut on the raido, flipping through stations landing on one that played nothing but old 90's.

He removed his hand and brought it back to the wheel, it was a good twenty minutes to the McDonalds she had told him to meet her at, and it would be an all to short trip. He knew that, he was dreading that. Hearing Alanis Morissette's 'One hand in my pocket"' come on the radio he laughed a bit. He remembered that song from when he was younger, he had loved it then. That was the good times at Wasaga Beach, before everything happened. Before he ever came near Degrassi, when Joey was still his best friend.

He loved the song, but he hated remembering those times. One thing Joey had made clear before coming to Degrassi for him, was that there would be no chance of the two of them rekindling anything. He didn't want that anyways; he was happy with Emma, he couldn't lose her again.

He got to the stoplight, looking both ways he made the right turn. It was legal. He saw the McDonals Arch sticking up over the next hill, he cut down the radio and sighed a bit. He'd be there early he was sure of that. Very early. But atleast he'd be there ontime for sure. He pulled into the parking lot slowly, finding a parking space and stopping. He'd wait here for her, he didn't want to go in and seem desperate as he sat there and watched out the window waiting for someone.

He sat back in his seat, and switched off looking out of his rearview, and side mirrors. Watching closely for any sign of Joey and Derek, watching for any sign of one of the only good things he had left in his life, coming back. He laid his head against the headrest and closed his eyes. Letting Everything slip back to him, Everything that he was still hiding from the one he loved.

Sean Sat Impatiently in the lobby of the Wasaga Beach Memorial Hospital. He lent his head back staring up at the ceiling, praying that everything went ok. He was fifteen, and scared out of his mind. His best friend, never girlfriend, boarderline bedroom buddy, was in labor with his son. And his girlfriend, who he had cheated on with his best friend, was sitting back at home, thinking everything was fine.

He tapped his feet before lifting his head back up to look ahead of him. Watching the swinging doors, waiting to see someone, anyone he knew come out, and tell him that he could go back. He ran his hands through his short curly hair. He was still questiong whether this was really happening or if it was all just some kind of dream, some pigment of his imagination gone way too far. He blinked a few times before getting up to go outside and have a cigarette. A habbit he didn't do much, but from time to time had no choice but to. Something had to calm his nerves.

He stepped outside the hospital doors, lighting a cigarette and then taking a long hard puff off of it. He rubbed his eyes and then looked around sleepily, god how long had he been here, she had went into labor early that morning, and it had now already been dark for a few hours. He knew she was already in the delivery half of it. He had been in there when they told her to start pushing which had been probably an hour or so ago now. But why was it taking this long?!

He heard the sound of the sliding doors open and turned his head, Lora, Joeys Mother was standing there. "Sean..." she said softly with a smile. "You can come see your Son now." She had a comforting smile on her face. Sean knew that she knew he wouldn't be around long. He had to go back to Degrassi, he couldn't stay In Wasaga Beach. They all knew that. Infact. He'd be leaving in the morning to return.

Sean dropped the cigarette on the ground and nodded walking towards her. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder as she walked him into the hospital, and towards the maternity floor. Taking a few turns and two elevator rides. They arrived infront of Joeys door. "You ready?" she asked softly with a smile. Sean nodded, reaching foward and holding onto the door knob as he turned it. Pushing the door open, seeing Joey laying in the bed holding what appeared to only be a bundle of blankets.

Joey looked to the door and smiled. "Sean..."

"Sean!...Sean!" Sean opened his eyes at the sound of someone knocking on his window. He looked over to see Joey standing there, with the handle bars of a stroller visable abover the bottom of his window. He smiled and pushed the door open slowly, watching her back the stroller up. He got out of the car, turning around and smiling down at Derek in the stroller, with his curly dark hair, and chocolate brown eyes.

"Hey Big boy." he said squatting down infront of the stroller, watching Derek smile as he saw the familiar face of who he now knew as his dad infront of him. Sean reached out and tickled the little boys stomache a bit. "How ya been buddy?" he asked not expecting a real answer of course. He saw Derek point down to the nike shoe that was on his foot and then heard " Ooo." followed by Nike. Sean smiled and then looked up at Joey, he had seen her at school today, but hadn't really spoke to her.

He rose back up to a standing position before asking. "How was the trip out here?" He was trying to make small talk for now. He didn't want to get into all the serious stuff yet. "It was fine, I'm not staying out here forever though." she said seriously. She moved and leaned against the side of his car. Standing beside him. "I can't Sean, I'll stay until you make sure you can handle him. But after that I'm gone." she hated saying that. But she had never really wanted Derek to begin with. Sure she didn't mind it. But Joey was far from being anything near the motherly type. Far from being the wife type, she was a free spirit, and she wanted to stay that way.

Sean looked down at the little boy and then back up at Joey, "I've got a little place I'm renting now, it's not much though, just an apartment." he explained to her. Trying to somehow make her feel a little better about leaving Derek with him. "I got a job working with Emma's mom at a beauty shop. I just answer phones and sweep up and stuff." he added feeling rather stupid for admitting he worked at a place like that. "Can I..." he pointed towards Derek, wanting to know if he could hold him.

Joey starred at him for a second before coming back to reality. "Oh yeah... " she said as she waved her hand in agreement towards the strolller. "Go ahead." she said. Sean smiled and then reached down to the stroller unbuckling the baby and then taking him out. He hoisted the baby up onto his hips and held him close to his chest. Watching the baby with his cup tightly secured in one hand. Fool with Seans hair in the other.

"When do you want him?" Joey asked, in a what almost seemed rushed tone. She waited for her answer as she stepped over to the car parked beside Seans, which was hers, and took out a diaper bag. Opening the backseat to Seans car and tossing it in. Sean looked at her a bit shocked. He hadn't told Emma yet, he hadn't told anybody yet. Besides Craig, who was now gone off the face of the earth, and Jimmy. Who he had finally managed to get back on speaking terms with.

"Sean you have to start sometime. I've had him for two years without your help except for the whole six months you where in Wasaga. It's your turn now." She said it blankly, and what she said brought Sean to a cold realization that he didn't really like all that well. "I'm staying till the end of the year. But then Im gone. And He's not coming back with me."

Sean looked down at the little boy in his arms, blocking out whatever it was that Joey was still muttering in the background. He was starring up at Sean now, with his cup in his mouth. Looking at Sean with a gleam of happiness in his smile. "Alright," Sean said softly. "I'll take him."


	3. I cannot Help But Hear His Voice

A/N: It's kind of a cliffhanger and their may be a few grammer mistakes if so Im sorry, but Im writing this late, and it's just a little difficult. But if you would please review!! I'd like to get atleast 1 review each chapter so I feel like me writing it is worth something. Thank you :)

Sean drove away from the McDonalds watching Joeys, Dodge Dakota pull out and go the opposite direction. Adjusting his rearview mirror he looked into the backseat, seeing Derek fastened into his carseat watching the cars go by out of the window. This was great, how was he going to explain this one to Emma. He should have told her. He should have told everybody. He was sleeping on Jay's couch, and he didn't know. He was dating Emma, and she didn't know. He knew this wouldn't go over well.

Stopping at the redlight he had ran just an hour or so ago, he turned in his seat a bit to face Derek, whose carseat was behind the passenger seat. "You hungry?" he asked. Seeing the little boy nod his head he sighed, what did he eat? There was so much Joey could have told him, that she just so convieniantly left out. "What do you want?" He asked softly, trying to keep his usual somewhat cold sounding tone out of his voice. "I-- Cweem" Derek said happily, dropping his sippy cup onto the floor board as he waved his hands around.

Sean laughed a bit before looking back at the light, it hadn't turned yet. "What else?" He asked trying to get his son to say some type of actual food. "I-- Cweem!" Derek said again, this time with a little bit angrier tone in his voice. Sean shook his head as he turned back in his seat just as the light turned, He'd have to find something to bribe the boy with. But what did he eat?! "What about Macaroni and Cheese?" He asked waiting to hear Derek's reply. He glanced down at the clock. It would Be six o'clock by the time he got home. He had to take a shower before he went anywhere. Plus feed Derek. He couldn't miss his date with Emma, he had worked hard to get her back, he went to jail to get her back for christ sake. He couldn't mess it up.

Derek, who had been trying to reach into the floor for his sippy cup let out an bit of a whine before crossing his arms in his carseat, "Fine." he says before going back to watching cars out of the window. "Daddy, when mommy coming back?" he asked turning his head to look towards Sean. Sean turned his eye's up and looked into the rearview mirror. "Not for a while, You're going to come stay with me." He said before trying to think of something to add on to it, to make the boy happy. "We'll have lots of fun. We'll go to the park, do you like the park?" Derek nodded his head quickly before adding. "Slide!"

Sean just laughed before trying to remember where the park was for futrue referance. He turned onto his street before going past the many appartment buildings, coming to a stop infront of his own. He parked upfront cutting off the car and letting out a sigh, well this would be a great way to break the news to Jay. Just show up with the kid. He got out of the car, walking around to the passenger side and opening the backseat.

He unbuckled Derek before picking him and his cup up, and shutting the door. Derek quicking slapping him on the shoulder reapeatedly and then pointing to the car. "Bag!" he yelled. Sean looked at him confused before remembering he had left the diaper bag in the backseat. He sat Derek down beside the car and opened the passenger door again, reaching in and grabbing the bag. Shutting the door, and looking down to see Derek gone.

He stood up completely looking around trying to see him, he walked to the front of the car, and saw him sitting on the sidewalk, starring intensely at something. Sean walked over to him and looked to see a trail of ants crawling down into the crack of the sidewalk. "Why'd you walk off buddy?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "You took too long!!" Derek said exageratedly. Sean just laughed before reaching down and grabbing his hand. "Well lets go inside."

Derek reached up and grabbed onto his fathers hand, walking beside him as they walked into the big doors, of his new home. He saw his dad reach for the doorknob of a door that was painted red, and had a number nailed to it. He just began looking to the floor again, trying to find more bugs.

Sean opened the door slowly hearing the one voice coming from inside the apartment, he least wanted to hear right now. He let out a sigh as he opened the door, to see Emma standing in the front room, with Jay standing infront of her. He looked down at Derek who was now watching the two in the livingroom and then looked back to the two of them, who where moving there eyes from Sean to Derek, and then back to Sean waiting for an explination.

Sean looks to Emma, to see a confused and somewhat happy look on her face. "Sean...whose this?" She asks as she looks at the little boy and smiles. She walked over to Derek and squatted down infront of him. "Hey little guy, whats your name?" Sean looked down to Derek to wait and see if he would answer her himself or not. He wasn't sure if he was really shy or if he was always so open. "Derwik!" he said with a big half toothless smile. All of his teeth still hadn't came in.

Emma stood up and looked at sean waiting for an answer. "Emma, This is Derek, my son." he said it so smoothly that he almost thought Emma wasn't going to get upset at all. "Your son?" she repeated with a bit of a shocked look on her face, but more of a hurt one. She could do math, and she knew the boy was around two. "When where you going to tell me Sean?" He let out a sigh and shut the door behind him. This was one argument the neighbors didn't need to be hearing. "I was going to, when I thought it was important. Emma I was fifteen, it was a long time ago, and I never thought she'd just want to leave him." he plead in his deffense.

"Sean it was two years ago, and she did." Emma explaine to her before looking down at Derek who was looking at both of them confused. Tears where rolling down his cheek. "I have to go. I'll talk to you at school tomorrow." She said simply as she walked past the two of them and out the door. Sean looked down at Derek who was still crying and picked him back up. "Shhh, it's ok buddy." He walked over to the couch and sat him down, taking off his shoes and his jacket. "You want Macoroni?" he asked seeing Derek nod he smiled. Ok you sit right here." he walked away from the couch and flipped on the tv to Nickolodian, before walking into the kitchen. He grabbed a pot from under the sink, filling it with water and setting it on the stove. Before walking back into the livingroom and sitting on the couch beside Derek.

"So I guess he's staying here?" Jay said in more of a sarcastic tone then an actual question. Sean just looked at him out of the corner of his eye and didn't give him an actual answer. He should know the answer to that one. So why bother waisting the time. "Where's he going to sleep?" he asked. "I Can make him a pallet on the floor tonight. I have to go get the rest of his stuff from Joey's tomorrow." he explained as he continued watching the fairly oddparents with Derek.

Jay just shook his head a little. "You don't know what you're doing Cameron." he said before grabbing his jacket. "I'm going out, I'll be back later." he said as he walked out the door shutting it behind him. Sean looked down to Derek who was looking up at him. "I guess it's just you and me then huh buddy?" Derek Smiled and nodded agreeingly before pointing to the TV. "Cosmo!" he said pointing to a fairy with green hair on the t.v. "You like this show?" Sean asked him. He smiled and nodded. Sean let out a relieved sigh. He had found something the kid liked.

He got up from the couch and walked off into the kitchen to finish making his son dinner. God it felt so weird saying that, his son. He had his son finally. But now...he was losing Emma.


	4. I Only Wish That I could Listen

1Sean sat in the livingroom of the apartment with Derek by his side, both with chocolate milk. Sean held his in a glass, and Derek in his sippy cup, which had a blue lid, and Pooh Bear on the side of it. Derek leaned his head against him and yawned as he rubbed his eyes. Sean looked down at him and smiled a bit. Now he just had to figure out where they where going to sleep. There was only one bed in the house, and that was Jays. Sean slept on the pullout bed from the couch.

"I guess you're sleeping with me buddy." he said with a sigh as he stood up from the couch. He reached his arms out picked Derek up as he saw his son reach his arms up for him. After picking up Derek he grabbed his glass up off the end table. Moving it to sitting onto of the t.v. so he wouldn't risk knocking it over when he pulled the bed out. "Here sit right here ok?" he asked Derek as he sat him in the floor a few feet away, where he could still see the T.V. , Derek just nodded his head and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

Sean looked down at him. Not sure if that was something he was supposed to do or not, but he figured it couldn't hurt anything at the time being. He moved the cushions off the couch, and then pulled out the bed. He already had the sheets on there. He kept them on there, washed them once a week. He put the cushions to the side out of the way, before going and grabbing the two pillows out of the linen closet where he stored them.

He placed the pillows on the bed then looked at Derek. "Do you need to go to the bathroom buddy?" he asked making sure he had that covered. So they didn't have any 'accidents' during the night. Derek nodded his head and stood up. Waiting for his daddy to show him where the bathroom was. Sean grabbed his hand and led him down the narrow hallway to the bathroom.

Derek walked in and then looked back at Sean. "Me can do it!" he said seriously, but the expression his face made Sean laugh. He just nodded his head and pulled the door shut. "Ok, just come out when you're done." he said, leaving the door open it tended to stick a little bit and he didn't want Derek panic, or be scared. He wanted his son's first night to be perfect. Even though Emma already partially shot that idea.

"Hey Jay!" he yelled, he stood and waited for a response. He heard footsteps coming through the kitchen and then stopping on the other side of the pullout bed. "What?" he asked. His usual annoyed but helpful tone in his voice. "I need you to watch him when he comes out of the bathroom so I can go change clothes." Sean said, jay just nodded and plopped down in the chair in the livingroom waiting to see the kid come out of the bathroom.

Sean walked around Jay to get to his room. Sean kept all of his clothes stored in there because it was the only place he could keep a dresser. He searched through the dresser aimlessly. Not really looking for any certain thing. Just to have something to do to keep his mind off of everything. He was so furious with Emma for walking out like she did, even though he was wrong for what he did she still shouldn't have just walked out

He grabbed a pair of sleep pants, laying them on Jays bed. And then undressing himself quickly. Sliding off his jeans and then pulling his t-shirt over his head. Letting the feel of the air conditioned apartment, come over him. It was so nice to be home, and being able to go to bed. Especially after a day like today. He rubbed his eye's and then pulled on the sleep pants.

He walked back out into the livingroom to see Jay sitting in the chair looking at Derek shaking his head. Sean walked over and sat on the side of the bed, grabbing Derek's diaper bag and searching through it for his pajama's, finding them and then looking over at him. "Come on buddy lets get you changed." Derek just looked at him with his head cocked to the side a bit before laying down his cup on the bed, and crawling across the bed to Sean.

"Come on Buddy lets get ready for bed." He said with a smile as he carefully removed his son's t-shirt and jeans from the day, and put on his dark and light green striped pajama's for the night. They where a sleeper so it took Sean a moment to figure out how to work it but he did. After getting the sleeper on Derek he kissed him on the forehead, "Come on, lets lay down." he said. Derek climbed up into the bed and laid down, grabbing his sippy cup and drinking out of it a little, then laying his head down on the pillow still having his eyes locked on the television, his eyelids getting heavy, Sean could tell he would be out soon.

Sean lay down beside him, and stretched his arm about above his head, wanting him to feel secure. He turned his head and then looked over at Jay, who was still sitting there watching his son and him. "What's up?" Sean asked with a raised eyebrow. It was odd for Jay to not be on the phone, or gone. It was still early, it was only eight thirty. Sean would usually just now be eating dinner, and getting ready to chill out for the rest of the night. But it was different now, and he knew it had to be. He could remember what it was like when he was in Wasaga, he had kept Derek with him a few times, mostly on the weekends.

Jay just looked at him and shook his head a bit. "I just don't get it..." he said seriously shaking his head a bit. "Why take him?" he pulled his hat from his head and moved it around in his hands a bit, seeming like he was inspecting it. He could see that Sean loved the boy, that was obvious. But, he couldn't see why anyone at the age of seventeen would want to take in a child, a toddler. Someone that changed your whole life. He just couldn't understand it.

Sean looked back at Derek, who was now completely asleep. Sean then turned his attention back to Jay and let out a sigh. "It's hard to explain." he ran a hand through his hair and then sat up from the bed resting his feet on the ground, and then placing his elbows on his knee's. "Me and Joey, we've been friends for ages...since third grade probably..." he then looked back to Derek as he talked. "I loved Emma...but I went out to Wasaga Beach for a little while that first Summer...and Joey was there..." he let out a sigh. Shaking his head a bit before placing his head in his hands.

"Joeys just has this personality, one that everyone remembers no matter how long you've known her." He looked up at Jay, taking his head out of his hands. "We didn't mean for it to happen, but it did, and I got the call about two months later saying she was pregnant." he swallowed hard before taking a sip of his own chocolate milk. "I was there the day he was born. But after that I didn't see him again till he was a year old. I saw pictures, and I talked to Joey on the phone but that was it."

Jay looked at him, "Is that why you said you couldn't come back?" he remembered when they had to take the trip to Wasaga Beach for Sean. It had been a good year ago now. But he had never thought there was a reason like this behind everything. "It was part of it." Sean said in all honesty. There where plenty of factors as far as that went. But Derek had definitely been part of it. Sean let out a heavy sigh before looking at Jay then to Derek and then to the floor. "I know I love Emma, But I can't believe how she acted today." he said quietly. Still not being able to completely grasp how she could think about everything like that.

"You cheated on her two years ago, well three years ago. And she just found out about it. And you wonder why she's upset?" he asked sarcastically."I mean it's not rocket science kiddo." He said with a slight snicker. Sean just shook his head. "You don't understand it though. He's my son. She can't expect me to choose her over my son!" he almost snapped. Then let out a sigh. "I'll talk to her tomorrow, I just need some sleep right now." He said quietly and honestly before laying back in bed, and grabbing the remote flipping off the tv. "I'll see you in the morning." Jay just nodded his head. "Night Cameron." he said simply before standing from the chair, and walking back into his room.


	5. Without Shame

Sean Awoke bright and Early the following Saturday morning. He still hadn't talked to Emma, at school he had walked past her, and ignored her calls. His main schedual for the days had been to wake up and take Derek to Jimmy's mother who had agreed to watch him for Sean. Go to school, then to work, pick up Derek, and come home to spend time with him before time to for bed. Nowhere in this equation was there room for Emma.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and climbed up off of the couch bed. Standing to his feet and then making his way to the bathroom. He washed his face and used the bathroom, then combed his hair and brushed his teeth. Looking at himself in the mirror he sighed, he missed her, he knew he did he couldn't deny it. Even Jay who barely ever paid attention to anyones emotions besides his own, realized that much. He cut off the water to the sink, then headed out into the appartment in search of the phone.

He searched quietly through the livingroom, and then made his way into the kitchen where he found it laying on the table. He picked it up and very very slowly and almost cautiously dialed the number to Emma's cell phone. He figured she probably wouldn't pick it up, after he had ignored her calls so much the past few days but it was worth a try. He held the phone to his ear after dialing in the last digit and listened at is began to ring...

Ring...

Ring

Ring...

Three rings, two more and he was home free. He had no explaining of himself to do, no Im sorrys, no I can make it up to yous. Just an excuse for him to be mad at her and not have to face reality.

Rin- "Hello?"

Halfway through the fourth ring and his hopes had been crushed. She had answered the phone. God why did she have to be so inconsiderate of his feelings he thought, before realzing what he was saying in his head a letting out a sigh. How could be be thinking like that, he had betrayed Emma by not telling her about Joey and Derek. He had messed up, not her.

"Hey Em, It's Sean..." He said softly waiting to see if she would even talk to him, or just hang up.

"Sean...I've been trying to get in touch with you all week." Emma said quietly biting her lip on the other end of the phone, Sean could tell.

"I know, I've just been really busy with the kid and everything..." he explained quietly as he used his free hand to scratch his head a bit in waiting and discomfort with the conversation.

"Yeah, how is he by the way?" Emma asked with actual concern in her voice. "Is everything going ok?"

"Yeah, Yeah everythings great. We've been getting to know each other, and drinking chocolate Milk, and watching cartoons, and Nickolodian and stuff like that..." Seans voice trailed off, he didn't know where to go with this. "What are you doing today?" Sean asked suddenly. He wanted to see Emma. He wanted Derek to see Emma.

"Nothing why?" Emma asked. She wanted to see Sean and Apologize for what had happened. For how she acted she knew she was wrong, and of course she was mad at Sean for everything. But now was a time when Sean needed her the most. She couldn't just walk out on him like this.

"Let's meet at the park around lunchtime..." he suggested softly. "You could even bring Jack if you wanted."

"Ok...I'll meet you at the park at twelve-thrity." she said with a smile. "I love you.."

Sean felt a smile creep over his face at these words. "I Love you too...See you then." and with that he hung up the phone. Placing it back on the kitchen counter feeling so much better about everything now that all of the worries and discomfort had slipped away from him. He looked at the clock. It was ten-thirty now. And he didn't want Derek to be cranky when he met Emma, so he needed to get woke up before the left. Sean walked into the livingroom and sat back down on the couch bed. Rubbing his sons back softly.

"Derek...Hey Buddy it's time to get up." He spoke gently seeing Derek's hand go up to his face and rub his eyes, then a small annoyed sounding yawn come from the boy. Sean laughed and then moved his hand as the boy sat up and looked at him. "uice!" the boy said as he reached over and grabbed his cup off of the bed handing it to his daddy. "Wease!!!" he almost begged. She laughed and kissed his son ontop fo the head. "Ok."

Sean took the cup into the kitchen and cleaned it out, before pouring it half full of grape juice and putting the lid back on it. He grabbed a banana as well. He walked back into the livingroom and sat on the bed beside Derek handing him his juice and then peeling the Banana and breaking off a piece, handing it to the baby to eat. "Guess what we get to go to the park today. So you can see Emma!" Sean said filling his voice with excitement and hoping Derek would do the same.

"Emma?" Derek repeated with his head cocked to the side in a questiong manner. Not understanding who she was. "Who that?" He asked before taking a bite of the banana and chewing it while waiting for his daddy's answer. He looked at his cup closely before sitting it in his lap. Still concentrating on the banana for now.

"Emma's daddy's girlfriend. And She's really really excited about getting to see you again. You met her that first day remember." he reminded Derek. Who sat in thought until it finally occured to him who Emma was. "Oh that's Emma!"

"Yep that's Emma. So hurry up and finish your breakfast, so we can get you dressed and we can go see her." Sean said as he saw the excitement In Derek's eye's though he was sure, it was all connected to the Park and not to Emma. Sean just laughed as he sat there and watched his son, Happy that things where now all sort of repairing themselves. And That Derek, his son was happily calling his house home.

A/N: Cliffhanger I know. But Im not quite sure about the park yet, and I didn't want this chapter to be super long, so you'll just have to wait haha. REVIEW PLEASEEE!!


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